14 July 2014

The same old story - large women feeling put down, not really doing anything about it (and this may range from making healthier choices to working on their own psychological acceptance issues) and deciding to go on a parade. What happens is that they attract the comments and attitudes to naturally follow such behaviour.

This post is meant to paint a picture of what really happens there. I am in no way put off by the fatkini photos, but by the attitudes behind this form of activism. I think beauty comes in many shapes and sizes. I am aware that some are bothered by such posts. I've tried to be as nice as possible to people with extreme weight, but they can't seem to accept any other view but theirs. They could never accept the fact that skinny people are being bullied equally. They usually say "OK, I know you get your share of rude behaviour, BUT...". There is always a 'BUT'. The fat ones always pose as the more victimised, the more abused, the more hated and unaccepted. Endless victimising and we all know what that is - it comes from a lack of self acceptance and no will to take charge and do something for yourself.

Sadly, this is mistaken for... confidence.

1. Confident people don't parade.

When you are truly confident, there is no need to expose yourself like that. You are what you are and you go about your business happily, not needing to prove anyone anything. When you are confident, you are not put down by a bully's opinion. You don't feel the need to post pictures of your own body in order to feel accepted. If you are mentally sound and healthy, you don't need to do that to have self-acceptance. Also, you don't have to get anyone's acceptance.

2. Confident people look at themselves only.

Compare yourself only to what you really want to be. You like yourself fat? Fine, but be aware that there are very real health risks involved. Want to slim down? Get a good physician's advice and start doing something about that. Don't hunt for those skinny people and tell them how they should eat a sandwich or more. Don't spit at the 'evil media' for not preferring you. Look inwards at your own acceptance issues. Needing to make condescending comments on people who look differently that you do shows nothing but self-hatred and low self esteem.

3. Confident people understand how standards are being formed.

Being thin is the norm? You think it's the media that made it so? Think again.
Tomorrow, the media may want to promote a different ideal. What if this one would mean having 4-inches long nails and a dozen nose piercings? That surely wouldn't gain much popularity. Would people conform? NO. In order to become the norm, a standard needs popular SUPPORT. In other terms, people like skinny, that's why it's popular. It would have never been the norm without the support it's been getting. This is a fact and nothing can change it.

4. Confident people understand and accept that overweight or obese isn't healthy.

You may be feeling well now, but soon those ugly health troubles will creep up on you. This is a proven, highly visible scientific fact. Too much fat leads to illness and to premature death. The other big issue is that the fat activist are starting to spread false science, claiming that thin individuals are prone to the same conditions. FALSE! Unless one looks like a poor starving African or they make huge dieting mistakes, there is no need to worry. Being thin in itself, even very skinny, is no problem at all.

5. Confident people know the facts.

OK, some of these facts were already mentioned. In general, we mean that smart, accepting, confident people who are fine about their looks know what the truth is. They don't buy the fat activists' lies. They know, for example, that the healthiest and longest-living people in the world are rather skinny. Take a look at the Japanese and the monks everywhere. Of course, there are skinny people in Africa and Asia, but that is because of poverty. There's not much poverty in Japan though, is it? In any case, social groups like the monks are very thin, yet they live long and healthy lives. Again, a fact you cannot change.

6. Confident people don't need to put down anyone.

This one speaks for itself.

7. Confident people don't see others as privileged.

Since thin is the norm, many large people somehow believe that it's OK to pick on thin girls (it's mostly about the girls), because anyway they're put on a pedestal. "They are already accepted, so they won't suffer like we do!" I smell DOUBLE STANDARDS here! If you want to be admired and accepted, don't act to others in the opposite way. If you think the others have too much cake, don't try to get some of it on your plate. Go and make your own cake and enjoy it.

Therefore, if you are large/fat/overweight and reading this, do yourself good and stop blaming others. Stop blaming them either for your weight or for your lack of acceptance. Go ahead and post bikini pictures, there's nothing wrong with it. Just don't do it out of desperation, out of a desire to be accepted by others. Society will never be like we want it to be. You're not saying anything positive about yourself when you are doing that.


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