10 November 2016

If you want to hide away from someone or never have them in sight, Facebook lets you hide their posts and all activity. So conveniently, just as if they didn't exist. At the same time you can avoid conflict and hard feelings because you're still in each other's friends list. But an unfriend... that is a whole different story.

Unfriending is brutal. It hurts. It stands for “I don't want you in my life anymore”. “I'm completely done with you”. “I have nothing left to say to you, only a virtual door to slam in your face.”

"So this woman I was talking to unfriended me..."

You will find loads of articles on this topic and they all tell you the same – which is actually true in many cases. A woman unfriending you is most likely 100% done with you (and you probably exhibited impardonable behaviour). If you've discover a woman you were dealing with has unfriended you (doesn't matter the depth of the relationship you were in, the insight is universally valid), it is not the end.

Unfriending is not the end

You may feel now like a ray of hope is shining through, but you don't quite know what to do about it, still. Yes, she is angry with you. Yes, she may not be able to forgive you. Yes, she virtually slammed that door in your face, as she considered there is no more room for niceties. When this happens, you have to do the following.

Acknowledge what happened

Unless the woman is a total lunatic (hints: has no friends, does drugs, is an alcoholic, is usually antisocial), you must simply acknowledge the fact that you did something that is simply not right in her cards. You are guilty and she's taking you out of her life for that. Leave your ego aside and just accept that. It is the first condition to your healing and perhaps to healing the relationship or friendship you had. It's time to be LUCID and that ego and hurt pride will not help you become lucid.

The Unfriend may just be your best chance at it

I know you're going to be shocked at what I say but it is the truth. After all, don't women do all sort of things that men label as illogical? This is one of them, but if you pay attention and look deeply into it, you will actually find it much more logical than any other version you may have. So pay attention.

She wants you to STEP UP

It's a fact of life and of female psychology and you have to believe it. I've done it countless times, my female friends have done it and women worldwide will continue to do it. Yes, in most cases a woman who's unfriended you will not want to hear from you again... but trust me, it won't hurt if you ASK ABOUT IT. In fact, it will help you know where you truly stand and will make you look like an involved, straightforward, honest and responsible person.

Therefore, what you must do now (and it's counter-intuitive!) is to CONTACT HER!
That's right. What she did was to step away from you and create a gap. She gave you space, so she can see what you're going to do with that space. Now, there is only one way you can come out clean and rehabilitate yourself: contact her.

Why unfriend when you can block?

Stop and think about this for a moment. If she wanted to never hear from you again, she would've blocked you. Heck, that Facebook feature is helping millions of people worldwide keep bullies, psychos and abusers away. It's simple and effective. Yet she didn't do that... she only unfriended you. Now doesn't it seem like a milder thing? It is the milder thing. You can still send her a message. You can contact her friends.

You see, unfriending is a woman's way to force you to act out. Your consequent attitude will give her the answers she needs: did he really care about me? Was he really invested or just playing me? Is he man enough? Is he worthy of another chance? You may think it's the end of the road, but it's not. And even if it is, you have the duty to contact her and ask her about her decision. Trust me, this is the best you can do. It's only logical: if she wanted you completely out of the picture, she would've BLOCKED YOU. I've seen countless situations like this and this is the way females act. We want you to step up and BE A MAN. She probably invested time in whatever you had. And emotions. No one wants to waste an investment. This is your chance to repair what was broken. It may not be easy, as she is hurt, but she wants you to prove your worth.

Women are looking for reliable men, not for wussies who turn their back and give them the silent treatment, or who put up a fight with them. We have our own sensibilities, we have the PMS and a lot of other things that make us the sensible and moody ones. We don't want to waste our time with guys who don't commit and who aren't strong enough to be in a couple. We require mental strength and if you have it, this is your chance to prove it.

So, my friend, take an honest look at what you want from yourself, your life, from her.

If there is anything worth saving, you can save it.

Pull yourself together. I know you are probably mad or hurt, but that is your ego and the ego is not a substitute for dignity. What you must have is dignity, not pride. If you contact her and she engages in a fight, don't fret. If it's the end, she'll just be silent or she'll tell you clearly. But if she engages in a fight, it means there are issues left unsolved and the best thing to do is to solve them. No matter how painful, just go through it!

6 July 2016

Posted by Anna Notaras |
There is no good way to respond to a fat shamer.

Any comeback will make it worse, guaranteed.
It's because REAL CONFIDENCE means paying NO attention to shamers at all.

If you stop and give precious time of your life to make a 'burning' comeback or whatever you think will show you as smart and confident, you're wrong big time.

You're only showing that you care, that it hurt you, that the hater could actually be right.

I have never seen a good response to fat shaming.

Usually, it's a sort of shaming in itself. It's offending the 'hater', it's spilling hate, it's oozing insecurity.

To all overweight women, plus size models etc:

You're never showing yourself as confident when you try so hard to show 'haters' that you're fine with their remarks, that you don't care... because you're actually proving how much you care.

Falsitatea in persoana e cel mai nou actor in telenovela cainilor comunitari din Romania. Nu e o metafora. Ca si falsii Anghel (dovedit de anchete!), nu e decat o marioneta pusa sa instige prostimea... ca sa mai intre niste fonduri in niste buzunare. Daca nu v-ati dat seama de asta, am vesti proaste despre intelectul Dvs.

Vedeta asta care cica a facut muuulte pentru tara noastra (da? ce anume?) nici macar nu a fost atinsa de caine, dar se da ATACATA. Unde sunt ranile atunci, femeie? Descreierata a reactionat normal dupa unii, auzi! Conditia normala a omului, deci, e sa faci spume la bot, sa iti iei vecinii la injuraturi, sa urli ca te doare in cur si ca ai sa ii omori tu. Repet: SA II OMORI. Vi se pare normal deci...

Hai sa va arat punct cu punct unde gresiti voi, 'civilizatii' lui peste, care nu stiti cum sa va mai scuipati ura si veninul! De cand se pune semnul de egal intre civilizatie si rautate?

1. "In tari civilizate nu sunt caini liberi pe strada..."
Dar de UK si de vulpi ai auzit? Ai vazut cum umbla vulpile libere prin cartiere si prin centru, printre turisti? Stii ca sunt mai pericuolase decat cainii? Nu stii, pentru ca ai stat toata viata in satul tau, iar daca ai calatorit, nu te-ai uitat in jur. Inca ceva: nu ai sa vezi caini pe strazi pentru ca oamenii (care i-au domesticit acum muuult timp, ai aflat asta?) NU ii abandoneaza. II STERILIZEAZA... Da, chestia aia cu adevarat eficienta despre care tot vorbesc aparatorii animalelor si voi tot nu vrei sa bagati la cap... Voi, jegurilor, crescuti cu mentalitatea rurala, lasati cateaua sa faca pui in nestire... sau va luati un animal de fitze, de rasa cand ajungeti la bloc, il lasati si pe ala sa se reproduca, apoi aruncati puii pe strada... In plus, in tarile civilizate nu ati mai fi VOI in libertate! Legile v-ar trimite direct la ospiciu la asa amnifestari de ura si ostilitate! Sa doresti raul unui animal sau om este semn de boala psihica!!

2. "Luati-i la voi acasa!" (scris de obicei gresit)

Cea mai de cacat (irationala, ireala, jenibila) replica posibila! Felicitari, esti primul/prima la scoala de prosti! Bai vito/bou sinsitru ce esti (desi nu meriti comparatia cu niste animale blande si inteligente), de unde stii ca nu ii luam? Ai venit tu la casele tuturor sa vezi cati caini avem? Nu, tu doar latri ca sa zici ceva... si nici nu te pricepi ce sa zici. Asta e nivelul tau de zero barat. Chiar ma intreb cum de stii tu situatia adoptiilor din tara stand la calculator pe paginile vedetelor de 2 lei. Sa te ia pe tine ma-ta de pe strada mai bine, ca scazi dramatic IQ-ul strazii!

3. "Iubitorii de animale sunt agresivi!! Ne urasc!! Ne injura!!"
Huooo, bre! Ia stai asa... da putin inapoi... CINE a inceput? Oare nu tu, ca andreea marin, urland si amenintand, insultand si facand spume la bot cand situatia era sub control? Cum ai tupeul sa nu iti vezi propria rautate manifestata fara jena si sa ii acuzi pe ceio mai empatici oameni de pe pamant ca sunt rai? In primul rand e absurd, un om care iubeste vietatile are in mod clar compasiune si nu se exprima agresiv decat atunci cand e atacat (la fel e si cu cainii). Pai daca voi sariti ca nebunii cu vorbe spurcate, vreti ca ei sa va pupe?
Jigodii ordinare! Mai vezi si cate un blogger ratat care simte sa isi spuna parerea si sa o apere pe fufa furioasa... de parca poti apara nerozia, rautatea, violenta!
Bloggeri de genul cu siguranta ca se isterizeaza la cuvintele mele... fara sa vada ca ei folosesc un vocabular si mai 'elevat', complet gratuit, care nu demonstreaza nimic decat cat de prosti si limitati sunt ei. Dar ei au impresia ca sunt razboinici, ca jignesc si zic lucrurilor pe nume. Nu bre, singura pe care o jignsti e ma-ta, careia ii pare rau ca te-a adus pe lume! Noi stim bine cum stau lucrurile si nu ne sinchisim de cacaturile pe acre le scoti tu pe gura.

Asadat... invatati sa iubiti, sa respectati viata, sa fiti oameni si sa actionati rational fara de animale (da, se poate! si GARANTEZ ca nu va vor mai ataca!) si atunci veti avea un raspuns pe masura. Pana atunci, daca esti un tembel ipocrit care insulta si injura, dand vina aiurea, e posibil sa fii ranit de adevar.

4. "Cei care hranesc cainii sunt de vina!"
Serios? WOW, cum omorati voi logica elementara!!!
Bai jegule, tu stii ce se intampla cu cainii infometati? POT DEVENI AGRESIVI. Deci care e concluzia logica? Sa devii un ciumpalac orbit de furie sau sa ai grija sa fie hraniti? E la mintea cocosului ca oamenii aia care le dau de mancare va fac un bine!!
Si de ce nu ii pot lua acasa? Pentru ca au luat deja! Pentru ca nu mai au bani! Sa le fie rusine cucoanelor onorabile care s-au luat de oameni de buna credinta pretinzandu-le sa mai ia caini acasa si sa mai faca donatii? Sa faca andreea marin daca tot e atat de deranjata, nu?

5. "ONG-urile fura banii!!"
Mi-am dat seama, te-ai nascut idiot si urasti tot ce e viu, bun si frumos. Totusi, puteai sa-ti fi dat seama ca nu iese mare lucru dintr-un ONG, de vreme ce nu prea multi se baga! Daca ar fi rost de bani, nu ne-am bate pe posturile astea?? Logica ce iti spune?? Politicienii, primarii si toti rahatii care chiar au bani... aia trag pe partea lor... nu sarmanii oameni care chiar se chinuie sa faca o diferenta! Nu stiti ce sa mai inventati ca sa manifestati plenar ura organica pentru cei mai buni oameni din tara asta!

6. "Iubiti animalele mai mult decat pe oameni, huuoo!"
Aaaa... de unde concluzia asta sclipitoare?! Te-ai uitat in jur, sa vezi cate familii fericite, implinite, cu copii, iubesc animalele si le ocrotesc? Asa e firesc, uman si frumos. Cine sare in apararea unui caine nu uraste oamenii. Din contra, e capabil de infinit mai multa iubire decat ciumpalacii agresivi. Degeaba bagati oamenii in extreme, concluzia asta e ridicola si mai extremista decat ISIS-ul. In plus, terminati cu tampenia aia cu Ionut Anghel... cazul a fost dovedit in mod clar un fals, dar voi il tot fluturati ca sa aratati in ce pricol de moarte sunteti.

7. "Zoofili!"

Prostanilor, zoofil e ala de 'iubeste' animalele in alt fel... adica are relatii sexuale cu ele. Asa cum se iubesc la voi la tara rudele intre ele, de ies odrasle inteligente ca voi, doar ca ala se cheama incest. Un iubitor de animale n-ar face niciodata asta, pt ca nu ii sta in fire... dar voi sunteti incredibil de prosti si nu stiti ce termeni folositi.

8. "Daca va muscau pe voi, va schimbati parerea"
Iarasi, vorbesti fara sa stii, needucat penibil ce esti. De unde naiba sa stii tu daca un iubitor de animale a fost sau nu muscat? Au fost multi! Diferenta? Au trecut peste, ca stiu ca ala e animal si a avut motivele lui si si-au recunoscut greseala daca a existat (un gest agresiv de ex., mersul cu bicicleta sau alergatul). Si-au folosit RATIUNEA SUPERIOARA DE OM, nu instinctele josnice de a face rau. Dca ati intelege voi macar un minim acolo, nu v-ar mai ataca nimic! Omul are datoria sa fie mai inteligent decat restul speciilor (prost = agresiv, cu sete de sange sau macar de injurat 'cutofili' pe net).

In concluzie...

Cum sa fii atat de imbecil sa nu iti dai seama ca a fi superior, a fi OM BUN inseamna sa ai compasiune? Mai ales pentru niste fiinte care rationeaza asa cum pot... Ce e atat de greu sa intelegi CUM anume actioneaza acesti caini? Cum de noi, restul, putem trece linistiti pe langa haite intregi de caini fara sa patim nimic?! Pentru ca stim cum sa ne comportam! Nu mai intru in detalii stiintifice legate de hormoni, feromoni si alte substante, pentru ca e prea mult pentru voi! Stiinta nu exista pentru prostime si nici nu conteaza... si cand am explicat prostilor cum sta treaba, ca sa inteleaga agresiunea animala, au negat pur si simplu. Savantii.

Din moment ce ai o problema cu cainii si vrei sa fie exterminati, din moment ce ii ataci pe cei ce ii apara si le gasesti tot felul de apelative, NU ESTI OM. Nu esti nici animal. ESTI DIAVOL.

Pune mana si citeste daca nu te duce mintea sa gandesti singur. Statisticile mondiale in psihologie si psihiatrie arata clar: daca nu ai empatie fata de animale, nu ai cum sa fii bun cu oamenii! Si se vede, la cum va comportati online si pe strada! Voi, agresivii anti-caini de azi, sunteti puscariasii de maine! Voi lasati pe internet urme inteligente si beinevoitoare ale trecerii voastre:
Ce oameni minunati sunteti voi! cata toleranta si iubire! asta aveti in voi si asta manifestati... si nicio scuza nu e valida. 

E OK DECI SA DORESTI MOARTEA SDEMENILOR PENTRU CA SUNT IN STARE SA AIBA MILA SI SA IUBEASCA? Pentru voi trebuie sa existe un iad, trebuie... il cereti cu insistenta. Nu uitati ca postarea asta si limbajul ei sunt un RASPUNS la tot ce ati varsat voi pe internet unor oameni pe care nu-i cunoasteti si carora nu le ajungeti nici la glezne, daca e sa ne raportam la omenie, inteligenta, logica si cultura!