10 May 2011

Posted by Anna Notaras | File under : , , ,
Facts about REBT:

Its founder:

A. Ellis
  • atheist (explanation comes later)
  • a liberal humanistic sexologist - promoting liberal sexual attitudes - are extremes ever healthy? Or take this phrase: "if this be heresy... Is pornography harmful to children?"
  •  considers religion harmful to mental health (So this is how humanity actually survived for millennia... Right, Mr. Ellis). He doesn't see that his own ATHEISM is actually a matter in the religion field, as opposing to any dogma/religion. He fails to see, as many other atheists in science, that he is actually imposing through his theories his own beliefs regarding religion! Such matter should never be included in anything scientific, especially not in psychology! 

I  came across some websites which titled him "the greatest living psychologist" - now, thinking with a bit of realism and decency, how many "greatest" people out there are actually great? Are the top politicians great people? Are the MTV pop stars truly great? The "official thing" is almost  always a FAKE, a LIE. A manipulation."The Best" is usually crowned only that one who's a king of deceit, one who can take away the eyes from the truly valuable things. Oh, not to mention that his therapies do not actually work on everyone and, to this day, most of the methods used are far from this one...

Carl Rogers holds a similar place - also humanistic approach, but a genuine interest in truth and wellbeing . Read about him and you'll see the difference.

Why REBT fails:

REBT is a satanic child, it makes promises for 'the now', the easy way, the immediate happiness, focus on the self only. The patient is taught that no one else matters but him. It ignores all theories and therapies which reveal the role of love, forgiveness, investment, focus on the self for the sake of everybody, connection, constructive thinking and action. Luckily there are still enough people on the planet who feel the importance of these and who won't fall for the traps on REBT.

It is only half-true. Seductive on a superficial level, but deeply destructive. Only a person with great values can master it, the others will misuse it and fall. Unfortunately I had the chance to see myself how people who didn't use their thinking and awareness until the end have fallen to become selfish and mechanical, empty inside, dehumanized, alone. Having integrated these teachings, they were no longer able to connect deeply with anyone. They were happy with themselves, though, but never made others happy. They were isolated in a bubble. Moreover, reactions like anger, frustration, discomfort (healthy reactions which can trigger beneficial change) were not fully stopped, as they are naturally human, but were diverged and emerged into inappropriate situations, with greater destructive effect.

The A(event) - B (belief) - C (response) model:
This is what REBT has at its core. With this scheme being somewhat correct, the method focuses on changing B in order to achieve the desired effect. 
B is often good to be changed/replaced, but sometimes B is a precious belief acquired by humanity or the individual. Many Bs simply keep us alive and bring good, though they may seem bad. Bs are triggers responsible for growth, evolution, benefits, even those that look negative.

A better perspective on A-B-C:
REBT insists on changing B. Many other approaches, however, suggest that C (= the reaction, the response) is within our power. It is more so than B, actually! The Belief is very hard to change. It is better for us to acknowledge it and to use our will, wisdom and freedom in choosing a better reaction. No matter what we believe in or how an event makes us feel, we have the freedom to choose our response. We can pay it back, we can ignore, go on just like before, fade away, respond with love and much more. This is where our true power resides - C! By insisting only on B, there's no real result. It only creates a vacuum, to be filled with arbitrary ideas. Changing C is the rational way to change one's situation. C allows humans to create, to exert their true power, to become wise. When they work on C, B is no longer important, it fades away!
Found on a website: "There is no law of the universe, as Albert Ellis has humorously pointed out, that X is going to get his way just because he demands it." - how about LOA, used correctly? to give just a generic idea (because the law of attraction is at the core of countless philosophic and spiritual systems worldwide) How about the morphic fields by which today's science explains Magic itself and ESP? Once again, gross ignorance.

"Who do you think you are to change me?" - the 'innocent' question and attitude in any REBT exposure I found. Defending human rights and freedom? Maybe. Affirming lack of gratitude, of tolerance, of discernment etc? OF COURSE! I cannot believe how many simply let such a statement be... and I could not believe the examples they give to support this... One concerns with a person's bad odor. In the view of the REBT followers, anyone has the right to smell bad and NO ONE has the right to complain about it. Where is the ignorance: when one tells you that you smell bad, they're actually HELPING you. They're telling you to shower, so you won't be chasing away all the people, losing your friends, your job, your status. Is it so bad? It's YOU who's going to suffer the consequences. They're not pointing a gun at your head to shower, they are only suggesting it, to your benefit. It is deeply human. Is it really so bad when people complain about you and tell you to change? And even if they don't care about you, they all have the right to work in a odor-free environment. The fact that one makes them puke is an attempt at their wellbeing and rights. Moreover, they have the right to do something about the air they breathe to be pleasant. They could simply throw out the smelly one and lock the door. There. Who do you think you are to smell like that? Take this, Mr. Ellis.

Following REBT, each person is secluded in a bubble, all human interaction dismissed. Reality (healthy reality, for that matter) is totally different. The Flower of Life is the pattern to be found in anything - see its symbolism for this matter at hand:

Each person is a circle. Each circle is someone's reality. They interfere wonderfully, equally, supporting a perfectly balanced pattern. See how they interfere in a healthy way, a way that build structures.

Here's more of how such "therapists" brainwash patients: "No matter what I might do differently that you would like, or even that might make life better for me, I don't have to do it. I can still do as I please no matter how absurd, wrong, illegal, or stupid it is". This is the attitude they want to imprint! That IS right actually - we're free to act as we please - but this allows us to go as far as possible, to unspeakable crimes, cruelty, perverted behavior, anything one can think of. They encourage this! Again, I am stunned how there's no resistance move against such full-blown stupidity! Total freedom, total anarchy. Even more - let people drink poison or cut their wrists in front of you - who are you to tell them it's not good? Let them become truly psychotic and don't stand in their way when they want to kill someone, please. You're nobody to deny their right to manifest whatever action.
What's the big advice for the by-standers and those involved? To ACCEPT. Yes, that's right. Accept one's freedom and behavior. This doesn't look to me like a good life at all - to simply accept all that there is. Or to adopt the ultimate passive behavior (leaving). It is the absolute denial of what we are as humans, as social creatures endowed with superior faculties.

"Ellis was careful to state that REBT was independent of his atheism"(Wikipedia) - Why? is it because he realized the opposite of this statement? He's a psychologist, after all... I'm very sure he knew what he was doing by stating this. Quite some care, indeed.
"While Ellis maintained his firm atheistic stance, proposing that thoughtful, probabilistic atheism was likely the most emotionally healthy approach to life, he acknowledged and agreed with survey evidence suggesting that belief in a loving god can also be psychologically healthy." - Any comments needed? Only much later in his life he tried compromising and worked with religious therapists to make REBT suited for religious people too. With great stretch and effort, it seems. He is pushing a dogma (his atheist belief) and such thing is against any kind of ethics when it comes to healing people. Take EFT, for example: it is not an invasive therapy. LOA has no such invasive concept either. They do good and change people's emotions for the better, without having to deal at all with their spiritual beliefs!

To sum up:

- REBT interferes (and plans to change) people's spiritual choices, freedoms and manifestations.

- promotes zero spirituality

- promotes total isolation of the individual

- gives a better emotional life to the patient, but takes away their soul

- represents non-evolution

- mistakes the response choices with the beliefs

- acceptance becomes rejection and rejection becomes acceptance (the natural situations inverted)

- too material and limited, denies everything about the spirit

- ignores the role of many factors that lead to emotion.

From Wikipedia cons:
"Some have criticized REBT for being harsh, formulaic and failing to address deep underlying problems" REBT is a sterile rebellion against the real psychology discoveries, such as cumulative events of the past, the ego or the subconscious. It falls out of place in a world which discovers beneficial tools like NVC, EFT, LOA. These are restoring human dignity and connect all levels of the being, from empyrical to deeply spiritual. Apart from being proven to work in the emotional field.

R E B T   K I L L S    !

4 May 2011

Posted by Anna Notaras | File under : , , , ,

The famous Law of Attraction has become infamous to many, because of the many secrets it holds. I, personally, had a long time in which I was feeling disgusted at the simple hearing of these words, because I was considering it a scam, just another nice daydream for people in order to keep them focused on sterile matters. Sadly, most individuals end up like me in that case.

For some fortunate ones, though, the shift happens sooner or later. LoA works indeed, but only for the few strong ones, the determined ones. The truth seekers, the ones who don't agree with being defeated. Now, I don't know how many out there can use LoA without much effort. Considering the general condition of mankind though, I'd say that the great secret is actually mindwork. Mind work. A lot of it, constantly, enthusiastically. Your saboteur can be right there in your deepest self, in the realms of the subconscious. It's all those beliefs that bring unhappiness, the stored feelings of failure, the rigidity and you must turn its power to your benefit. Remember that your subconscious is also what keeps you alive and makes you breathe, move, perceive, think, talk.

For the work you need to do with your subconscious, think about your home computer.
The latter is a machine that can do many more things than your conscious self, a lot faster and effective. You just cannot complete those enormous calculations in a split second. You cannot create all it does in the virtual space. But you order it to do so. You took the cds with the programs needed, installed and used them to your advantage and desired results. You don't wonder how it does all that, by what means and processes exactly, unless you're passionate with the IT. Later, as you want other programs, you install them as needed. However, in order to do this you may have to clean up some space on the hard disk. Then, you proceed to removing the old, no longer useful programs, or the junk data you stored.

This is exactly how you can work with your subconscious in the greater picture. Start by making some free space by deleting all that no longer serves you. Scan for viruses, take out all that did harm. This can be done by EFT. Now you can install the new software, for the works and results you're expecting. Do this by programming your mind using meditation, visualization, positive affirmations. Notice that the foremost thing your conscious self can do is to set out an intention, to act within its limits and let the "other powers" do their job. You don't have to wonder at all, using LoA, how is everything going to happen, or to allow doubts. The universe/God/ whatever you recognize as powerful outside yourself has all the means necessary and has already given you the tools you need. "Ask and it shall be given", because all is there. Here, I can add something more, because I recognize God as separate from this force, which was given by Him as a tool for our benefit and downfall also, for our lessons-to-be-learned...
How one has to ask for something, the preparation and processes are another story.

The downsides of LoA:

As a neutral tool, this attraction force and the energy that's responsive to our thoughts can be manipulated in all possible ways. Bad things happen because of bad thoughts. Bad thoughts exist because of bad ethics. That is the key - the ETHICS. This is also what made LoA look silly in my eyes, before getting a grip on its real meaning, and it's what drives others away from this tool. There are numerous masters out there who use it for becoming rich. Millionaire. Billionaire. It's very nice and useful to have money - but does anyone really need to be a millionaire? do we really? Why would anyone want to have the most expensive car while there are countless cars that already function perfectly AND look wonderful? These material goals that they set to be obtained with LoA have the power to drag it all down for those who use some different ethics... There's another helping key here, and that is DISCERNMENT. Having the discernment to realize that getting unnecessarly rich or famous is their goal and they're only using a tool that is neutral, the same tool that can be used to bring balance, harmony and true welth to yourself and others.