Surpassing the Polarities (Why REBT Kills)

"Esoteric psychology in the first place is directed toward changing a person’s inner world, changing our way of thinking, of seeing ourselves and the surrounding world.

Esoteric psychology does not deal with the effects, but with the causes of a given problem, and in this way it helps us getting rid of it forever.

The term “esoteric” means inner knowledge or, in other words, knowledge of what is hidden, unseen by our eyes; knowledge concerning the conditions of our energetic body, knowledge of our soul..... In a nutshell, it refers to any cryptic knowledge withheld from the masses.

Esoteric psychology is based first of all on the knowledge of fundamental Cosmic Laws and it helps us understanding our purpose in life, formulate our life goals correctly and manifest them in practice." (http://universynergyarts.co.uk/esoteric-psychology.html)


The hermetic book The Kybalion states the Law of Polarity among the essential Laws governing the Universe.

REBT is a therapy often encountered nowadays, that appears as dehumanizing, because of reasons explained in another post. It mostly tells people that if something causes them unhappiness, they'd better change the belief that's related to it. (First, I'm not sure if it really deserved the name of therapy or cure, because a lot of people can not relate to it and never get to follow such principles, nor truly experience any kind of healing). It is a strange mix of not blaming others, feeling guilty and at the same time not blaming yourself and not following any logic whatsoever for oneself. This, let's call it, theory, aims to take away the concepts of bad, wrong, sad, unfair, frustrating. While the reasoning may not seem too bad, what it does in the end is to destroy polarities. The funny thing is, no one will cease to feel and live the polarities - only avoid to talk about those. It aims to place humans beyond our oh-so-used dual system (good-bad, right-wrong, nice-unpleasant, hot-cold, light-dark, much-little etc.).

However...

To be above polarities, one must integrate them both. E.g. one has to know the concepts of hot and cold and the degrees in between, the comparison process and so on. Only then he may be able to rise above. Naming and distinguishing between hot and cold asks for a judgment(as mere observation, not of moral kind, obviously).

REBT suppresses one polarity. E.g. One may feel that a friendship brings good things to life. But when a friendship goes sour or fails somehow, the "feeling bad" should be definitely canceled, because it's only in our mind - it's only caused by a belief that we should get rid of, to avoid the suffering and discomfort. Therefore, the bad part of the good-bad polarity is suppressed.

Once a half is canceled, the other one can't exist!
So how can the patient define what is 'good' and what something good is supposed to be, without any reference point inside? If we can no longer feel or define what cold is, how can we use the hot/warm concept? It becomes useless. The other half is emptied of its meaning. With an empty belief/image that something can be hot, one can no longer perceive anything that would be so. They say it just IS. Well, survival would have never been possible - nor communication - without comparisons and degrees.

Psychologists, those of recent times especially... "They quite frankly assert, 'this is the way it is'. And since all people are equally ignorant, nobody dares to object. Very little of what they call rational is rational. The scientific reason of our times is still part of emotionality.
It would be a good thing if the academic spirit were saturated with the understanding that you should not make statements on things of which you know nothing. Even in the learned, more than 90 per cent of what they believe they know (ascertained facts excepted) is sheer fictionalism." (http://www.laurency.com/L2e/KL2_10.pdf)

Back to our main idea, while still in this body and on this planet, you are a prisoner of polarities. If it is as you wish - that everything is good, how could you actually be able to reject what you don't want? Yet, instinctively, you still stumble upon loads of things, ideas, situations which you reject, resent, feel bad about. You FEEL it. This is exactly why REBT and modern perverted spirituality don't work. They only try to push horse glasses on you. The outer world stays the same, and you realize it once it throws a wet rug in your face. It cannot be avoided endlessly.

Tasting the forbidden apple tree means gaining knowledge and awareness of the polarities - Good and Evil to start with.  Mankind is entrapped now into this type of world, by its own choice. Polarities and what they hold in between their extremes represent an essential of the human thinking. Each choice that is made, no matter how simple, is the result of a judgment like, "It's good to do this instead of that or that, or it's simply better." When you choose a tea flavor/ type from a menu, you base it on this reasoning: "This one tastes better than all the rest. This one is useful to me right now. This one is new and tempting, it is better to try something new now." Any of these supports the one and simple reality: you can't escape the way we all think and act.

REBT - A Therapy for Dehumanization

Facts about REBT:
http://24-7help.com/about_rebt/Guide.php

Its founder:

A. Ellis

• atheist (explanation comes later)

• a liberal humanistic sexologist - promoting liberal sexual attitudes - are extremes ever healthy? Or take this phrase: "if this be heresy... Is pornography harmful to children?"

•  considers religion harmful to mental health (So this is how humanity actually survived for millennia... Right, Mr. Ellis). He doesn't see that his own ATHEISM is actually a matter in the religion field, as opposing to any dogma/religion. He fails to see, as many other atheists in science, that he is actually imposing through his theories his own beliefs regarding religion! Such matter should never be included in anything scientific, especially not in psychology! 

 
I  came across some websites which titled him "the greatest living psychologist" - now, thinking with a bit of realism and decency, how many "greatest" people out there are actually great? Are the top politicians great people? Are the MTV pop stars truly great? The "official thing" is almost  always a FAKE, a LIE. A manipulation."The Best" is usually crowned only that one who's a king of deceit, one who can take away the eyes from the truly valuable things. Oh, not to mention that his therapies do not actually work on everyone and, to this day, most of the methods used are far from this one...

Carl Rogers holds a similar place - also humanistic approach, but a genuine interest in truth and wellbeing . Read about him and you'll see the difference.

Why REBT fails:

REBT is a satanic child, it makes promises for 'the now', the easy way, the immediate happiness, focus on the self only. The patient is taught that no one else matters but him. It ignores all theories and therapies which reveal the role of love, forgiveness, investment, focus on the self for the sake of everybody, connection, constructive thinking and action. Luckily there are still enough people on the planet who feel the importance of these and who won't fall for the traps on REBT.

It is only half-true. Seductive on a superficial level, but deeply destructive. Only a person with great values can master it, the others will misuse it and fall. Unfortunately I had the chance to see myself how people who didn't use their thinking and awareness until the end have fallen to become selfish and mechanical, empty inside, dehumanized, alone. Having integrated these teachings, they were no longer able to connect deeply with anyone. They were happy with themselves, though, but never made others happy. They were isolated in a bubble. Moreover, reactions like anger, frustration, discomfort (healthy reactions which can trigger beneficial change) were not fully stopped, as they are naturally human, but were diverged and emerged into inappropriate situations, with greater destructive effect.

The A(event) - B (belief) - C (response) model:
This is what REBT has at its core. With this scheme being somewhat correct, the method focuses on changing B in order to achieve the desired effect. 
B is often good to be changed/replaced, but sometimes B is a precious belief acquired by humanity or the individual. Many Bs simply keep us alive and bring good, though they may seem bad. Bs are triggers responsible for growth, evolution, benefits, even those that look negative.

A better perspective on A-B-C:

REBT insists on changing B. Many other approaches, however, suggest that C (= the reaction, the response) is within our power. It is more so than B, actually! The Belief is very hard to change. It is better for us to acknowledge it and to use our will, wisdom and freedom in choosing a better reaction. No matter what we believe in or how an event makes us feel, we have the freedom to choose our response. We can pay it back, we can ignore, go on just like before, fade away, respond with love and much more. This is where our true power resides - C! By insisting only on B, there's no real result. It only creates a vacuum, to be filled with arbitrary ideas. Changing C is the rational way to change one's situation. C allows humans to create, to exert their true power, to become wise. When they work on C, B is no longer important, it fades away!
Found on a website: "There is no law of the universe, as Albert Ellis has humorously pointed out, that X is going to get his way just because he demands it." - how about LOA, used correctly? to give just a generic idea (because the law of attraction is at the core of countless philosophic and spiritual systems worldwide) How about the morphic fields by which today's science explains Magic itself and ESP? Once again, gross ignorance.


"Who do you think you are to change me?" - the 'innocent' question and attitude in any REBT exposure I found. Defending human rights and freedom? Maybe. Affirming lack of gratitude, of tolerance, of discernment etc? OF COURSE! I cannot believe how many simply let such a statement be... and I could not believe the examples they give to support this... One concerns with a person's bad odor. In the view of the REBT followers, anyone has the right to smell bad and NO ONE has the right to complain about it. Where is the ignorance: when one tells you that you smell bad, they're actually HELPING you. They're telling you to shower, so you won't be chasing away all the people, losing your friends, your job, your status. Is it so bad? It's YOU who's going to suffer the consequences. They're not pointing a gun at your head to shower, they are only suggesting it, to your benefit. It is deeply human. Is it really so bad when people complain about you and tell you to change? And even if they don't care about you, they all have the right to work in a odor-free environment. The fact that one makes them puke is an attempt at their wellbeing and rights. Moreover, they have the right to do something about the air they breathe to be pleasant. They could simply throw out the smelly one and lock the door. There. Who do you think you are to smell like that? Take this, Mr. Ellis.

Following REBT, each person is secluded in a bubble, all human interaction dismissed. Reality (healthy reality, for that matter) is totally different. The Flower of Life is the pattern to be found in anything - see its symbolism for this matter at hand:

Each person is a circle. Each circle is someone's reality. They interfere wonderfully, equally, supporting a perfectly balanced pattern. See how they interfere in a healthy way, a way that build structures.

Here's more of how such "therapists" brainwash patients: "No matter what I might do differently that you would like, or even that might make life better for me, I don't have to do it. I can still do as I please no matter how absurd, wrong, illegal, or stupid it is". This is the attitude they want to imprint! That IS right actually - we're free to act as we please - but this allows us to go as far as possible, to unspeakable crimes, cruelty, perverted behavior, anything one can think of. They encourage this! Again, I am stunned how there's no resistance move against such full-blown stupidity! Total freedom, total anarchy. Even more - let people drink poison or cut their wrists in front of you - who are you to tell them it's not good? Let them become truly psychotic and don't stand in their way when they want to kill someone, please. You're nobody to deny their right to manifest whatever action.
What's the big advice for the by-standers and those involved? To ACCEPT. Yes, that's right. Accept one's freedom and behavior. This doesn't look to me like a good life at all - to simply accept all that there is. Or to adopt the ultimate passive behavior (leaving). It is the absolute denial of what we are as humans, as social creatures endowed with superior faculties.


"Ellis was careful to state that REBT was independent of his atheism"(Wikipedia) - Why? is it because he realized the opposite of this statement? He's a psychologist, after all... I'm very sure he knew what he was doing by stating this. Quite some care, indeed.
"While Ellis maintained his firm atheistic stance, proposing that thoughtful, probabilistic atheism was likely the most emotionally healthy approach to life, he acknowledged and agreed with survey evidence suggesting that belief in a loving god can also be psychologically healthy." - Any comments needed? Only much later in his life he tried compromising and worked with religious therapists to make REBT suited for religious people too. With great stretch and effort, it seems. He is pushing a dogma (his atheist belief) and such thing is against any kind of ethics when it comes to healing people. Take EFT, for example: it is not an invasive therapy. LOA has no such invasive concept either. They do good and change people's emotions for the better, without having to deal at all with their spiritual beliefs!

To sum up:

- REBT interferes (and plans to change) people's spiritual choices, freedoms and manifestations.

- promotes zero spirituality

- promotes total isolation of the individual

- gives a better emotional life to the patient, but takes away their soul

- represents non-evolution

- mistakes the response choices with the beliefs

- acceptance becomes rejection and rejection becomes acceptance (the natural situations inverted)

- too material and limited, denies everything about the spirit

- ignores the role of many factors that lead to emotion.

From Wikipedia cons:
"Some have criticized REBT for being harsh, formulaic and failing to address deep underlying problems" REBT is a sterile rebellion against the real psychology discoveries, such as cumulative events of the past, the ego or the subconscious. It falls out of place in a world which discovers beneficial tools like NVC, EFT, LOA. These are restoring human dignity and connect all levels of the being, from empyrical to deeply spiritual. Apart from being proven to work in the emotional field.

R E B T   K I L L S    !