15 October 2013

Posted by Anna Notaras | File under : , , ,

When you really know you're in for the serious thing, all other sorts of relationships just won't work. I've learned that the hard way - how else? The good news is that it's a lot better that those petty relationships don't work. I, for one, am sick of dead ends.

So how do you figure out you are marriage-minded? I consider the biggest clue to be the fact that you just don't feel motivated anymore to be in the "let's see where it gets us"-type of relationship. You just can't stand the unknown like you did before, you don't want to play games, in fact you may even detest them. You simply want the real thing: Forever. A wedding, a commitment, a husband/wife and not a boyfriend or girlfriend. The biggest mistake for you would be to get into a relationship in which the two of you don't look in the same direction, because you already know that a convergence of goals is an absolute must. You're barely in, but a part of your soul already wants out.

Ever since I realised I am no longer willing to play uncertain games, I simply cannot start any other relationship unless I somehow become certain that he is the one. And that has not happened yet. It is all clear to me why it is this way: see the reasons above. Also, I've come to a full acceptance of gender roles. I concluded that my own imbalance (taking on a masculine air and too many masculine tasks while dismissing my femininity) was attracting the wrong people. One, day I just had enough of all that, enough to take an honest look at the problem and see what is there to change in order to make myself happy. Here is a very important turning point: accept yourself as a single person and understand that it is better to be alone for God knows how long than to be with the wrong partner. Trust me, it is a billion times better.

Then, slowly, you will work on yourself, improve and not only feel inside that you are ready for marriage, but also let the others see it. The bad ones will run away. When you want a lifetime commitment, you won't be happy with someone who's in for the thrill of the game and who might be waiting for someone better to come along. You won't go for a pretty face only. You won't set yourself up for deceit. You will enjoy a longer, more mature courting phase instead of jumping at first-date kisses or sex. If you don't trust me - and why should you? - take a look at what reputable relationship coaches have to say.

Another good aspect: if you are marriage-minded, you are more likely to attract similar people. A sense of honour, commitment, future plans, integrity and honesty exist in much higher doses in those who want more than just a relationship. They will like what they perceive and they will be drawn to you.

The way you dress and many other choices (like how you prefer to entertain yourself or behave in a group) tells a lot about you. People who are mature enough may not be interested in one who is dressed like a fun-loving teen or a club vamp. Sure, you may get their attention, excite them and even keep them close them for a while, but you will not inspire in them those feelings. Also, do not fall into the other extreme: you don't have to be boring or plain. Keep your heart young.

Repel the not-so-serious ones and let yourself reflect less drama, real composure, become fond of cultural activities, get smart clothing, have more concern for your existing family or relatives, a career or life goal, big dreams, clear targets, and accept only those who are the same. If they don't like who you are know and wish you to return to your 'teenage' self, be wise and step away.


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